For God’s Sake! A Quarantine Monologue. Facebook Live- Aug 8

I MEAN HONESTLY! By Arlene Malinowski

CAST: Any gender/age/size/ ethnicity

(Talking into a phone)  No . .  No. . . I’ve been on hold for the last few years and it’s about time you answered my call. Ask and you shall receive- isn’t that what you always said. I call BS. The only other people who have had a harder time getting through to someone are those folks calling Unemployment Assistance. I know that it took a lot of energy to create the heavens and the earth but that’s no excuse to God-damn ignore us. Yes! I used that GD word no and I don’t care. I’ve been binge eating because of you!! 

And tell Buddah, Allah, Krishna, Yahweh, Shiva, Jehovah, Hu, Baha’, Jesus and all of your Greek god dudes that we haven't seen any of them either.  When you have kids you can’t just leave because you have other plans.  You promised us that you’d  be coming back one day to judge the living and the dead so we’ve been waiting … patiently; praying in our churches and protesting in the streets and lining up waiting for a COVID Test or the vaccine. . . but nothing. Please! for God’s sake, we haven’t seen much support from you. Please. There are so many of your children who are hungry and scared and sick and broken. You have to know that. Don’t you feel bad that when they can’t get in touch with you so they’re posting messages on Facebook and Twitter and Tik Tok begging strangers for to help? 

I know that you think that we’re old enough to clean up our own messes but some of your kids- the spoiled, entitled ones, and you know who they are, aren’t playing fair. They keep on taking and taking and taking and you do nothing about it.  I feel sorry for you. Really I do. Sometimes I wonder how you sleep at night. Oh, Riiight, you’re not sleeping because you’re too busy clubbing with some of those Goddesses too. Sometimes it feels like there is so little love, blessings and wisdom around that I don’t know why we even bother begging you to hear us. You know they say you can’t pick your family- but a lot of us do and if you don’t watch it it ain’t gonna be you. Oh and tell Xenu’ that his Scientologists want their money back.

But you know what? In the end I know that people will do the right thing like they’ve done so many times before. So never-mind. Forget that I called. And remember that Karma’s a bigger bitch than all of you combined.